7s_prompts 13.3.5. Unexpected.

[isaprick]

A/N: Based on logs with Pogue - lieutenantwitch - and Dale - hockey_god. Much love.

The whole scene with Andy left Aaron more or less pole-axed.

He walked with Dale back to his room. Dale, whom he'd come to call and actually think of as a friend, and whom he hadn't known something like this about. Shit.

The shorter student's mouth was curled up in a sneer and his whole body was tense. But if there was one thing he wanted less than hanging around with Dale right now, it was making another public scene on the heels of Andy's. Because that would make people think of him and Andy as even more alike, and he couldn't handle that.

And Dale was sufficiently upset - he'd even apologized, although the whole scene was clearly not his idea in any way - to not notice. Hell, the first time they'd actually hung out together had been when Dale had been down in the dumps and despairing because of his ex.

He just hadn't clarified that ex was a guy.

Fuck.

When they got to his room - it wasn't where they'd been headed when Andy accosted them by the pitch, but, hell, it was good enough - Dale flopped on his bed and covered his face for a bit. It was the lack of sounds from Aaron that made him look up, eventually, frowning. "What?"

"So... you and Andy?"

"Yeah." And now his face was even sourer, eying Aaron under his eyebrows, blue eyes dark, shaded.

"You didn't tell me-- no, wait, forget it," he raised his hand. Hadn't realized it was shaking. "I don't care, you know. I can't... hang around with a fag, alright? I'm outta here."

"Yeah, well, knowing your opinion on that, maybe that's why I didn't..."

"Forget it, Dale. I thought was just hanging around."

"It is!"

"Bye."

He let himself out. Would have loved to slam the door or something, but his joints seemed to have turned to butter. Quivery butter. So he didn't. There was a thunk of something thrown or falling behind him and the low, familiar voice muttered a muted word, but he didn't go back to see what that was. Just got to his own dorm, climbed to his room, and sat in his bed, knees drawn up to his chin, shivers now shaking his whole body.


He didn't tell Pogue for days. More than a week. Didn't feel like doing it over the phone and ended up snarling it up when he went for a day trip to Harvard, the two of them sprawling, well, when he started talking about it, Aaron wasn't sprawling any more, in Pogue's room.

The blond stared at him, then eventually stopped gaping and said, "so, you're telling me, you ditched a guy you were actually friends with, could hang out with and talk to just the way people do, because he had a crazy ex boyfriend?"

That stung, actually, and Aaron shot him a sharp glance. "... no."

"Not because he was dishonest or constantly hit you up for money or kept trying to get you drunk or got you in trouble or dissed you behind your back or to your face, but because... he has an ex boyfriend. And he's otherwise a nice, friendly guy you can hang out with."

Aaron actually snarled at that. "Not because of the ex-boyfriend. I wasn't. aware. he. sleeps. with. guys." Which was a form of dishonesty, wasn't it? Kind of?

"So, yeah, because he has an ex-boyfriend. As opposed to an ex-girlfriend."

The shorter boy's eyebrows rose in a cynical look. More or less, yeah, it's me, did you forget? as those things went.

Pogue shook his head. "You are such a fucking moron, sometimes." That got him a glare, long and earnest. "So, what, if I tell you about my ex boyfriend, you gonna ditch me, too?"

Aaron's arms crossed in front of his chest as he reminded him, "not like I didn't try... much worse than ditching you." Back at the hospital. Even the thought of that brought an echo of the hurt, in his arm and leg. He didn't pay attention to that. "Didn't work out."

"I bet he's not as stubborn as I am. So now you're out one friend because you're an idiot. You making a lot of friends, you can afford to drop one because he likes guys?"

Aaron's chin rose up. He would not step down from the argument, to hell with everything. "Dunno. Feels like I'm doing fine from over here." But in the back of his mind, he heard every word that Pogue was saying. And suddenly he wanted to just check on Dale. Ask if he was all right or something. Ha, ha. all right.

Pogue was shaking his head, slowly, eyes fixed on him. "You're the same old isolated prick you used to be. And now you're back to being alone." He stood, moving around to outside Aaron's field of vision, somewhere behind him. "Idiot."

The guest was actually nervous enough to turn his head to watch him. "Right." But all he saw was the blond walking out of the room without saying another word.

It was... He stayed in his seat, tense. Not exactly hunched in, he rarely ever did that outside his own room when he was certain that he was alone - elsewhere, it was always possible for somebody to walk in (yeah, he'd learned that lesson - the thought made him shiver) and he still had some image to maintain. Even with Pogue, who'd seen him all wrapped up in casts and... yeah.

But he hated it that the blond was mad at him. How had that happened, anyway? He hadn't really cared about his opinion since early high school, and definitely hadn't cared months ago when Pogue had decided to hang around when, well, he couldn't do anything about it but turn his head away or go childishly, 'la lo, cannot hear you'. Not that he hadn't done those both. Repeatedly.

The silence made the arguments kind of trickle back to him. Made him think about it as he hadn't in the time that had passed. He'd just reached the point where the thought flashed in his mind that they'd been hanging around for months and months, and Dale hadn't made even the slightest move on him... and was skirting around the conclusion that he didn't have anything to fear from him when Pogue came back in, two bears in hand.

"You know," he said, and he sounded ticked, "I should ditch you for being a homophobic asshole. I'd have better reason than you do for ditching your friend."

For a moment, Aaron could just stare. "You're only thinking of this now?"

"I'm only saying it now."

"Right."

Pogue settled back down, setting one of the beers in front of his guest.

Except Aaron was uncomfortable enough, his head a mess, to not feel like reaching for the bottle. He just... kept his eyes on Pogue instead.

The blond, in turn, didn't seem uncomfortable at all. Just opened his beer, took a drink. Leaned his head back and closed his eyes, as though thinking something over.

In a bit, Aaron muttered, "'m sure he has other people to go cry to." Dale was never a loner, after all. He had many friends. More than his own, anyway.

"Do you know that?" Pogue wasn't sitting up or opening his eyes, but he was still talking. Was something, right? "Hell, do you even know he's the kind of guy who'd cry over losing a friend for the stupidest reason ever?"

"Dunno." He swallowed at the sour taste in his mouth; maybe it echoed in his voice, too. "He won't be happy about it." He knew that, too. Hell, even with that huge piece of missing information, he did know Dale, dammit, and no, he wouldn't be okay with the whole thing.

"No. But then again, I guess," now Pogue did sit up, "he'll be happier than if he really started to count on you as a friend and found out he was expendable to you on the basis of sexual orientation."

Aaron's jaw was clenched so bad that it hurt. "Expendable implies that you get something in return. I'm not sure it's the word that you mean."

"Well, you get to keep your bubble."

"Damn right I do."

Pogue sighed and shook his head, leaning a bit forward like he was going to stand and leave again.

Aaron didn't wait for him this time. He swore under his breath and took his leave, going on in a mood that even he realized was sulky. The look he caught on the blond's face didn't make him happier. Kind of... disappointed and tired and sad.

Fuck.


They didn't have classes together, anymore, Dale and Aaron.

For a bit after his talk with Pogue, that was cool. He huddled inside his bubble, as Pogue had named it, days on end when he tried to focus on his work and not think about any of it.

For a couple of weeks, that worked.

The blond returned to his habit of checking on him, online or calling. It had chafed, months ago. Now somehow it made him feel just a little less...

Alone.

Eventually, missing the deep-voiced, taller guy by his side while hanging out after lectures or while watching games sank in. Deeply.

He didn't even realize he was dialing his phone until the tone was in his ear.

Dale picked up quickly enough, even if he was completely confused by seeing the caller ID, from the first time in... a long while. "Aaron?"

The caller bit his tongue briefly. "Just... wanted to check how you're doing. After the whole fuss." A long while after the whole fuss, and feeling absolutely stupid. But he wasn't going to hang up on him, now that he'd called.

Dale couldn't help it, the thought of oh my god, this guy's a freak popped up in his mind. Firmly. "I'm... okay, I guess. How're you?"

"Good. I mean, okay's good. I'm okay, too, I guess." Silence, just for a bit. "That guy been bothering you again?" Now wouldn't that make things easier, actually having somebody to be aggressive against.

"No, he's..." Pause. Eyes narrowing. "If this is your way of asking if it's okay to go pound on him, the answer's no."

"... damn." But it was almost more for the release of tension than actually feeling unhappy about it.

"Christ." And now he was pissed off at Aaron again, something he'd banked for all this time. But since the other guy didn't actually sound unhappy about... well, the denial, he wasn't as pissed off as he could be. "You're a mess."

Aaron paused for a moment at that, then answered honestly. "That's been pointed out to me in the past."

Dale's voice was dry. "Yeah? How badly did you kick his ass for it?"

"Uh..." Um. "The first few times, as bad as I could, which wasn't that much, all told. Bigger guy and rarely on his own." He swallowed. It wasn't like he hadn't actually talked about that, even to Dale. "And then I wasn't up to moving much, so trying it didn't quite work out." Another bite on his tongue. "Sorry. I can... leave you alone now, if you want."

Dale was blinking in space, so very confused. Kind of... almost worried, despite his better judgment, because that didn't sound good. But mostly, confused. And he actually had to take a minute or so to figure out what the hell he wanted to ask. "What happened with you, man? What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." Just a little too quickly. "Just talked with another... with a friend." Pause. Then, what the hell. "Told me I'm an idiot. Which, again, isn't a first."

Dale was still so very confused. Didn't get this. "Sounds like a smart friend. At least someone did." Then, exasperated. "Seriously, what is wrong with you? I mean, I know you're deeply repressed, it's why I didn't tell you any of this shit, I figured that out early on. But why the hell is it such a shock to you that I'm gay?" Then, dryly amused. "Or was ti just my taste in men that you found repulsive?"

"I'm not..." And now it was Aaron's turn to take a minute. So he wouldn't yell. Mostly because he couldn't come up with what to yell - and that had used to be easy, dammit. Then, still through clenched teeth. "I don't know why it's a shock. But it is." Maybe it was also because he'd been blindsided and was feeling way more comfortable around Dale than he'd ever felt around any gay guy. Comfortable. Maybe because it had hit him low that he couldn't even make friends with normal guys. A mix of things, most likely.

Dale was actually way more impressed with that honesty and non-yelling than he'd been with most of Aaron's behavior so far. It made him feel better about their ... friendship. He still wasn't sure what to say, but he was more relaxed. "Well, if..." One hand scrubbing over his face for a second. "If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't comfortable with him making a scene in the quad, either. That's not okay."

... and Aaron wasn't quite sure what to say, either. Or, rather, what to think. Up to and including I've done worse, even if it hadn't been quite that way. In a bit, he did come up with some response. "Yeah. I saw that... you weren't comfortable." And, this part came easier. "Don't know who would be, although I've seen guys actually almost seem to enjoy that kind of thing from girls."

Somehow, Dale had an instinct to skirt that topic. "Yeah, I've never understood that, either. I mean, supposedly it's someone you at least cared about, once, why would you enjoy getting reamed out by someone you cared about because something you did made them upset? In public or not. I don't get that." Okay, that was almost babbling, but it might be worth it to just yank the topic off the one that was making them both uncomfortable.

The smaller guy made a small sigh, his mind providing that explanation almost despite himself. "So that after they get back together, the one reamed at can demonstrate superiority, that he's 'conquered' the other person." What. There was psychology in the pre-law program. "Still not what I'd find enjoyable. Or all that motivating to get back with that person." Which, once the words were out of his mouth, he realized it almost was a question. Almost.

Dale was wondering if he had just heard what he thought he had just heard. Also wondering what in the hell was going on here and when had being friends with Aaron suddenly gotten insanely complicated. "Yeah, me either." Which was tantamount to admitting that, no, the relationship was permanently off. And then, more for the sake of conversation, "speaking from personal experience?"

Aaron blinked. And blinked some more. "Uh... kind of, though not quite something I've done."

"I mean," kind of amused, "more something that someone did to you after a breakup."

Small snort. "No, although it was kind of tried, once." A beat. "Didn't exactly... have fun results." Understatement and putting it lightly, but, hell, they didn't need anything more weighing in on the conversation.

"Uh-huh." Pause. No, he wasn't going to ask, although it did kind of leave them out of topics for conversation. "We cool?"

And Aaron blinked again, and replied, quieter than before, "if you're down with that..." He swallowed. "Yeah."

"Okay, then." If he hadn't been down with that, he wouldn't have asked.

"Yeah." Well, maybe not, but still. It was good to ask, wasn't it? "See you around?" And he actually meant that question, too.

"Yeah, sure," and now Dale had the feeling that this whole conversation had been a little bit surreal, as he fingered the line off.

And Aaron just sat there, phone in his hand and staring a little blankly in space.

He didn't have the slightest idea what he was doing.

But damned if he'd admit that to anybody.